Thursday, August 15, 2013

Irresistible Radio Men

I was listening to an old episode of Snap Judgment today (if you don't listen to it, you should), and there was a man on the show, telling the story of the time he got catfished. In short: a mysterious woman started calling him, out of the blue, and having racy chats with him. These chats slowly evolved into real talks, about their lives and backgrounds, and they ended up cultivating a sort of relationship over the phone. All of this happened while the protagonist was on a cross-country road trip with his brother, and he often felt lonely on those long nights out on the road. Eventually, the protagonist returned home, where he started to spend time with real live girls, and his relationship with the Girl on the Phone (let's call her Nicole) melted away.

Fast forward a few years, and the protagonist finds himself stranded on the side of another highway, his car engine failed, and all alone with his thoughts. He eventually begins to think about Nicole, and wonders why he never tried to make something real out of the relationship he had with her. He calls her, and says, "Let's meet in person." Nicole agrees, but says, "I hope you're ready to meet the real me."

Our protagonist (Davy Rothbart is his name) flies to Austin, heart in his throat, and enters an Applebee's on the north side of I-35. In he walks, and the first woman he sees is ancient. That must be Nicole, he thinks, and walks right up to her and introduces himself. The old lady tells him "There's no radishes in my soup! I asked for radishes!" So, that wasn't Nicole. The next woman is sitting at the bar, beautiful, wearing a red skirt, and he feels a rush of vindication. But she isn't Nicole either. Confused and frustrated, he rushes out into the Texas night, running straight into a man on his way out. The man turns and gives him a tiny, cautious wave. And suddenly, Davy knows: this is Nicole.

So he walks over, and shakes the man's hand. "Nicole?" "You can call me Aaron," the man tells him. And instead of punching Aaron, instead of running away screaming, instead of accusing Aaron of being selfish and cruel and immature, Davy has a drink with him. And talks to him for several hours. And keeps in touch with him. For 8 years now.

I have mad respect for this guy's maturity and presence of mind and kindness to this gay guy who had deceived him for months, and kind of made a fool of him. I won't lie--I'm listening to Davy say the last few bits of his story, and I'm thinking "Where you at, Davy? Let's talk. You seem like a nice dude." AND THEN the host of Snap Judgment says, "You can read all about Davy and Nicole in Davy's latest book of personal essays." And then I went crazy. This man sounds awesome. Where can I meet him? Davy, can you hear me? (Note, this is an allusion to Rosie O'Donnell's infamous "Tommy can you hear me?" running joke.)

Alas, radio men are out of my reach. Still, I'm hoping he'll read this and come at me, bro.

1 comment:

  1. i heart this so much. when you meet Davy, can you ask him if he has a friend? i think i could be into radio menfolk too

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